Be Intentional

This past year was really eye-opening for me. I continue to discover so much more about myself and my upbringing. There were weeks I spent overthinking because I just couldn’t stop coming to realizations daily. It started by doing shadow work; it’s work you do for yourself to uncover your shadow self. In other words, your dark side. There were questions I answered, I had a list on my Notes app and would answer one each day. I’ll share them at the end of this post. Most of them brought me back to my childhood and the traumatic experiences I had. The realizations would physically make me sick, it was a pain I never felt before…

It took me a while to practice what I was always preaching; my first post on my blog was about what my last relationship taught me: how to be alone (it’s on a different blog, I couldn’t figure out how to sync my old posts to this site!). While it did teach me I had to learn to be alone, I was never truly alone. I was on dating apps, still trying to find “the one”.

I’ve been learning to have intentional friendships and relationships.

I learned that a lot of the people in my life were still in my life because I was holding on to a piece of my past that I wasn’t ready to let go of. Because starting over sounded scary, “I have to make new friends?!” That was a struggle for me in school; I didn’t want to endure that struggle again. I liked being comfortable. But, I’m learning to get comfortable with the uncomfortable. It’s the only way I’ll continue to grow and become the best version of myself. Recently, I’ve been putting myself in so many uncomfortable situations and I love it.

Now, here I am, learning how to live instead of survive. I pay attention to how people make me feel, what type of energy I am allowing in my life, and how it’s affecting me. It’s been amazing so far, and I am so ready to continue becoming Destiny.

I’m extremely proud of who I am today and just wanted to share that it does get better, it always does.

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Shadow Work Prompts

1. If I could say one thing to the person who hurt me the most, what would it be & why

2. What was the hardest thing I’ve had to do and how has it impacted me since?

3. If present-day me could talk to myself from 10 years ago, I would say:

4. What trauma triggers are common in my everyday life? How do I deal with them and where do I think they come from?

5. How have I internalized my parent’s judgment?

6. Write the words I need to hear right now

7. When was the last time I witnessed self-destructive behavior in myself? Describe it and the emotions I had at the time

8. What emotions do I rarely express to others and when did I start hiding these emotions?

9. When I think of my future, I am most afraid of...

10. What do I do that holds me back the most in life?

11. Am I ok with the fact that not everyone will like me? Why or why not? How does this make me feel?

12. What emotion do I try to avoid the most? Why am I afraid of letting myself feel these emotions?

13. How does the feeling of envy show up in my life? Where does it come from?

14. What was the moment of my heartbreak?

15. What relationships and friendships do I have that are unhealthy?

16. What do I need to forgive myself for? Why have I struggled to forgive myself for this?